In Kanas, In Utah.

Song of the blog: In These Arms_The Swell Season

Couldn't find a pic of our stadium.

In Kansas when you go to a football game, you drive over to the small football field in your friend's car, you pay 4 bucks, they stamp your hand, and you sit on a hard concrete bench and watch your team get splattered all over the field. In the meantime you can walk down to the small concession stand and buy a hot dog and soda, or a frito chili pie, or maybe you just want a candy bar, and then you go back up to your hard place of seating and commence watching your team get killed. The half time show is the little 20 person band(maybe) walking around the field, and half of them are in middle school  In Utah when you go to a game you walk over to a full size stadium from your apartment in the rain. You are coming from a tailgate party that was inside with more sloppy joe meat than you have ever seen in your life. You stand for the first 10 minutes without even getting tired because everything is moving so fast. There are blue people walking around, and the field is really close because one of your friends had a ticket for the second row.You can't even tell the difference between the people on the other side of the stadium because it is so huge, they are a blend of blues, yellows, and reds. Everyone knows the fight song, and it makes you actually want to memorize a fight song for the first time in your life. Everyone cheers, and when YOUR team makes the first touchdown in the first 5 minutes, you go wild because oh my goodness your team may actually win! You take pictures of everything, because everything is new. And what do the concessions look like you ask? It's a shark frenzy down there. Everything from cheeseburgers to boiled peanuts is sold. It's like walking through a market, only everyone is wearing raincoats and has BYU face paint. The half time show is a real show. Singing and dancing and then the band gets out there with 200+ members with real talent and a full color guard. It is really quite good. 

In Kansas the first snow is a big deal. It usually brings ice with it, or maybe the ice was already there, and the snow just hides it so that you think it's pretty, but really it just wants to kill you. You can go sledding on a larger hill, or you can stay in and make waffles and hot chocolate with your bestest friends in the whole wide world. You can say hello to your neighbors and wonder why, in the freezing cold, they are STILL sitting on the rocking chair on the front porch?? And then you slip as you walk own the street to Colby's house and realize, "Oh, that's why." In Utah, first the clouds wrap around the mountains, and it snows on the tops of those huge things before it ever snows anywhere else. Then when it finally does reach the valley of the living, it lightly snows for five minutes, and if you weren't outside to witness the occurrence then you would never ever know it had happened. If you WERE outside, it still ruins your hair.

In Kansas, you can simply drive 5 minutes, or walk 20, to the outside of town and you can see forever. You can see so far that you can almost see your future out there in the distance. You can be sure of everything, you can see what will happen tomorrow, and see what will happen the next day. In Utah, the mountains block everything. Suddenly your life is shrouded with mystery and you don't know what is going to happen in the next 5 minutes, much less what will happen tomorrow. Life is a mystery, and you have to be prepared for anything to happen. There is no surety, there is no stable thing. Not even my breakfasts are stable anymore. I no longer sit at the same table every morning, eating the same bagel, with the same 3 little packets of cream cheese. I don't get on facebook, talk to Felix for a minute, or anyone else, drink my orange juice and people watch. No. That tradition is gone now. I don't even drink orange anymore. Never thought that day would ever come. I liked that tradition, but now I eat fruit for breakfast. I sit at the same table sometimes, but most days I don't have time to stop and eat. Even for that hour.

In Kansas I was a high school student, falling asleep in Algebra 2, and singing my soul out in choir. I walked to Colby's house down the street at least once a day. I was broke all the time. I was in love with a boy. I was a still a little girl. In Utah I pay bills once a month. I ride my bike to school every day, and eat and sleep when I have time. I still love that boy, but it's different. I walk to work once a day, and I work in a cubicle. I still sing my soul out in choir, but now choir is only twice a week. So I sing in the shower, or when I'm home alone, any chance I get. In Utah I get a paycheck of  about 200 dollars every 2 weeks, but it is still never enough to get everything I want. I'm not a little girl anymore, but I wish I was.

In Kansas you stand still.

 

                                                            In Utah you grow up.