Day to Day Blahness

Song of the blog: Never Forget You_ The Noisettes

Every time I hear this song I think of memories. Memories of Spring Break my senior year of high school (Best spring break I've ever had. By the way.) Memories of Felix. Memories of old friends. That's what this song is about. Memories. And never forgetting. I just want to to take a break from laying out my stupid day to day life and talk about my wonderful memories. I have a great life, and I want to remember that, even when I'm having a bad day. (Could that bad day be today. Yes.)

I want to start WAY back. All the way, to my earliest happy memory.

1: Waking up in the winter time in the big yellow house on Bullion Rd. in Elko. I would run with my mom to the heater that was in the dining room under the table so we could warm up. I was so happy when we did that. That is one of my best memories.

2: I remember my first day of fourth grade. Mrs.Masketti. I still think of spaghetti when I think of her. She had this construction theme, and all the desks were clumped together with construction tape. We were going to construct ourselves that year, that was the plan. Our classroom was under construction. My aunt Lucy did my hair that day I think. A really pretty up do that I thought matched my shirt very well. Matt kept looking at me and smiling, and I glared back at him and he looked away. I hated that he liked me. Boys were so gross.

3: I remember playing on the playground and getting chased by Jeremie. He would pin me up against the gate and pretend that they were lockers and he was going to kiss me, I would kick him in the shins and run away squealing. He never did get that kiss. haha

4: I remember being obsessed with boots. I loved wearing boots. These boots went almost to my knees, sometimes they had butterfly little key chain-like things on them. I remember once I got very angry with Matt on the playground and I spun on my heal to walk haughtily away and I fell and scraped my knee. My boots protected the rest of my leg, but not my pride. I've always been such a clumsy little duck.

5: I remember Loving the swings. I would close my eyes and pretend that I was flying far away, and when it rained I would pretend to be on a ship that was sailing far away. I remember going deep inside myself and forgetting everything except my daydreams. Being far, far away.

6: I remember the Greek Mythology book. I carried it with me everywhere. They fascinated me. I could read every other book in that elementary school library and not go back to them, but that book has stayed with me even now. It was huge to my little self. It had pictures and stories and it just fascinated me. It made so much sense, because the world was so crazy, that crazy gods and goddesses ran it. I loved Aphrodite and Athena. I wanted to be a combination of them one day. Wise and beautiful and lovely. I looked up to them in a way that I couldn't look up to anyone else at that age.

7: I remember my first day of 6th grade. I remember the call the summer before from my mom saying that we were moving to a new house and I would go to a new school and go to a middle school and have a locker. I don't remember being sad. I remember thinking, "I'll have a locker! That is so cool!!" I felt like a big kid, even though at that point I was still more than a year younger than anyone else in my class. I remember loving it at first. And I remember the library. This memory gets bad pretty quick, so I'll move on. haha

8: I remember my last day of 6th grade. I had already gotten used to the idea of doing 6th grade again, and my last class of the day decided to go out and play kickball. Everyone was really nice to me, and I made a home run. The sun was shining, and it was everything that my year there had NOT been. I laughed at them and how fickle they were, and my mom came and got me out of school early. I ran from the field with a smile on my face and I don't remember but maybe I knew deep down that I would move on from that year and be ok. That's a good memory.

9: I remember my second first day of 6th grade. I met Tessa that day. I also remember having a big crush on Jordan Boyce that year. I made him a really girlied up letter asking him to the Valentines Dance, he said no. hahaha Ah, the things I remember. I remember my friend Rochelle and the time she liked a boy and we were at recess and he said to her, "You don't cuss?!?" And she said, "What the crap! I crapping cuss!" Ah Rochelle, he was shocked that you thought crap was a curse word. We in 6th grade are so over that word. It's not cool anymore. Poor Rochelle. haha

10: I remember my first day of Seventh grade. I remember that year was the year of boyfriends. I dated Nick long.Italian.last.name that year. He was so cute. We broke up after 2 weeks. There were other boys but I remember him the most. I also had a crush on Cameron that year. Ah Cameron. I wonder what happened to him. He was one year ahead of me. An 8th grader. hahaha We carpooled with his brother who was my age to and from school. I would walk to their apartment every morning from ours and think, "Oh Cameron. sigh" Life was good when I was friends with Cameron. haha

11: Further back, I remember when my Dad lived in Crescent City California. I remember watching the fireworks on the 4th of July over the ocean and making sand volcanoes that blew up with little fireworks. I remember going to Ocean World and petting the little Tiger Shark. I remember being so excited to pet it and love it that I put my hand in too fast and it turned around and snapped at me. From then on I have been terrified of sharks, but I used to want one as a pet. haha

12: I remember moving to Kansas. I wasn't happy about it at first. I missed my Kyhana and I missed Tessa and I missed Elko. What I didn't know was that one day I would miss Parsons more than anywhere else in the world. I miss the never ending sky and the magic of rain.

13: I remember rainstorms. I remember standing in them as they turned the world upside down. I remember the warmth of the rain and the cold all at the same time. I remember getting completely soaked and just loving every second. I remember dancing in it. I remember the thunder that would shake the world and sing me to sleep at night. I remember rainstorms.

14: I remember Colby Johnson. This woman is one big giant happy memory. I remember the first time we met and I never thought we would be friends. 7 years later and she is my sister through and through. We complete each other's sentences, we have lived each other's houses when it got too stressful to live at our own. She threw me a surprise party on my 18th birthday that I was completely clueless about even though apparently they had been talking about it right in front of me for weeks. We can look at each other and know what the other is thinking. We will be the old ladies in the nursing homes that only understand each other. "You wanna hand me that jello Colby?" "Nah." *Hands me her cane* "Thank you!" None of it will make sense, and that is exactly why we shall do it. (Actually, we already do that. Confusing people is the best when we are the only ones who understand. haha) I remember being the Wrestling Team Manager and Colby was the Wrestling Cheer Captain and we would look at the wrestlers from other schools and never care what their names were. "I love me some purple pants!" Ah such good times checking out wrestlers. I remember when I had my first kiss and I told Colby and we were happy and everyone was surprised. I am the pickiest person when it comes to guys, they would always make predictions, "Oh she'll date him. Definitely." I didn't date any of them. I dated Joe. I loved Joe. hahaha Me and Joe lasted a summer. That's a very happy memory even though I was crushed when it ended. Colby was there. I remember sharing clothes with Colby and it got to the point that our closets were interchangeable. We knew what was ours, but we didn't care much. I remember buying shoes with Colby. I remember all 3 years of prom. The first year we went in starry eyed and full of expectations. It sucked. The next year we did everything cheep and comfortable and we looked great and had the most amazing time. Senior year was stressful and people missing (BUT my hair looked amazing), but I had JP for a date and he is the funnest date ever so I still had a good time. Prom. Next I remember dating Felix. Colby stood by me through all of it. When I did things right, and when I made mistakes. When I was tricked and lied to and stabbed in the back. She was still there helping me get through it. After all of that, she was happy for me when I went back to him. She was happy for me because I was happy, even though any smart person could have been able to tell that it wouldn't last. (I was not a smart person.) I remember going to Coffeyville together with her sister and visiting the CCC campus and watching her audition for the music program and eating at Long John Silvers and that Chinese Buffet that we liked even though by the world's standards it probably isn't that great. (Prices are though. :)  I could go on and on about memories with Colby, but that would make this blog EVEN LONGER. Which I know is what y'all want right?

15: I remember standing next to Gage's giant base speaker, right up against it, feeling the booms as they played loudly in Gage's basement. Gage, Michael, and Chase. I had such a big crush on Michael. Silly me. hahahaha But I loved that base. I still love me some base.

16: I remember when I first started dating Felix. Best 3 day weekend up to that point. Emphasis on up to that point. haha I thought it was the epitome of all my relationships. I laugh about it now, but it's a happy memory, until a week later. hahaha Waffles. ;D

17: I remember my high school graduation. I wore the 4 inch gold heels with that navy blue dress. So hot. =] And then we all just hung out and did whatever for the rest of the day. It was magic. We went where the wind blew us. In celebration of our new freedom. And then our class didn't have a party and we realized how lame it all was. So we made our own party. Yeah. =]

18: I remember the day I opened the email that said I was accepted to BYU. I had been waiting for months. Checking every day. It was to the point that no one actually thought I got in. My Dad kept asking me about my back-up plans, and of course I had them, but I didn't want to go to any of those places! I knew that BYU was where I was supposed to be. (As dramatic as that sounds) So when I got that email I printed it and told the world. I ran down hallways and shouted up to balconies. "Hey random person on the street?!?! Guess What!!! I GOT INTO BYU!!!" I showed my Dad and said something along the lines of, "How you like them apples Daddy?" So yeah, happy memory.

18: I remember SOAR. SOAR was a great time. =] It was when I realized so much about what I want with my future. One: I need to go to BYU as soon as I graduate from high school. No going to community college first. Two: I might not go on a mission, and that is OK. Three: I adore Hannah Rose-Nez. And she will be one of my best friends forever.

19: I remember last summer. It was one of the best summers a girl could ask for. Growing up and having fun. Learning my way around the 'big city'. It was amazing. I miss summer. Summer is always full of magic.

So this is really long. I really could go on and on because is THAT amazing and it has THAT many amazing memories, but it would never be complete. haha I would be typing forever. More memories are coming into my head even now. I could write 2 pages just on my memories with my Dad. So I'll stop before I write a novel. I'll save the novel for later. ;D

Arcadia, with friends, next year will be concert filled rockness. (Studying too. haha )

Song of the blog: Hum Hallelujah_ Fall Out Boy

Sooo.... Life, I love loving it. Love living it. It's great.

I also found a place to live. A roof to put over my head, next year when I come back to kill myself at school. haha

Arcadia Apartments. They aren't NEARLY as nice as Alpine. Not even close. But I can have a private room for less than I'm paying a month now shared, and I only have to pay the deposit up front instead of both the deposit AND first month rent. Before this last weekend that would not have been a problem, but now I am a VERY poor college student with no money and the 200 dollar deposit is one of my paychecks. Yep. So I like this place. I dig it. =]

I will also be living with my good friends Michelle and Kili! Except I found out today that Kili, who I have known for almost 2 years, is not really named Kilinoe. Her real name is Sarah. Well, her legal name. Her parents just never call her Sarah. WEIRD!!! I had no idea! Kili is my Hawaiian goddess! Sarah? It just doesn't fit. But I still love her, I love her all the more. Yes. =]

Michelle is my wonderful concert buddy. We will attend every concert that we possibly can, and we will rock our way through life. Loving every second of it. Yes. =]

And yesterday I bought an external hard drive. It was about 140 big ones. It hurt my soul, but it was necessary. I don't want this whole losing my whole life thing happening again. Nuh uh. Also, my new hard drive came in so I have a laptop again!!!!! I missed it. Very much. And I'm going to take good care of her. No virus will attack my baby and get away with it. Ok, so it got away with it, but now I have Lacie to back Esmeralda up. They are best friends. Lacie (ext. hard drive.) is a kind of body guard, and she guards Esmeralda well. Yes. =]

And I'm eating soup. Yes. =]

Yes. =]

RANDOM QUOTES!!!!

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. 

Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary

 

Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart. 

Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC)

 

Though lovers be lost, love shall not
and death shall have no dominion. 

Dylan Thomas (1914 - 1953), And Death Shall Have No Dominion, from Collected Poems

 

I just want to input here that Dylan Thomas is one of my most favorite poets that ever lived, and this poem is my favorite by him. (Although, Keats is right up there with Thomas. haha)

Ah The Weekend And All That I Beheld.

Song of the blog: Sun of a Gun_ Oh Land

So this 3 days weekend has been a doozie. I don't know how to spell doozy. I'm guessing. The spell check here on my computer wants me to put dozily, because that more of a word? What does dozily even mean? I shall Google it. Yay Google.

Alright, so apparently it means: In a dozy manner.

Not the correct word to describe my weekend, quite the opposite. It was anything but dozy.

It all began on Friday night. I came home and chatted with Eliza a bit, then watched a stupid movie, and then I went into the room and there is Eliza getting all dressed up. I said, "Wow, you look nice, where are you going?" Thinking it was a date, I was excited for her. Turns out her and my other Juliana and some other people are going to a Kesha concert that they made sure I wasn't aware of. Wow. Nice. Have I mentioned how much me and my roommates LOVE each other? We are just SO close!! There is so much LOVE in our home! Yeah! (The little boy is really going to punch the poor dog. He's acting. It's a ruse!!! Ah!)

So I went to a party that night. I got the thought to call Richard, but I was NOT ready to start dealing with him yet. My friend Karee had a sleep over in her apartment. There were tons of girls there, and I made tons of new friends. It was actually a lot of fun. And then the next morning they got me to go running with them. Me. Running. But I did it. We ran up to the temple, which isn't that long of a run, but it's ALL uphill. Yeah. I walked some of the way when I really felt like death was at hand. I loved it though. It's miracle, it actually made me WANT to go running on a regular basis. When we were done I felt like we hadn't run far enough. And then I realized what I was thinking and I was like, "AH!!! What am I thinking?" But yes, I enjoyed it. Crazy right?

And so my Saturday went on. I spent a lot of time with my new friends, and spent as much time as possible away from my wonderful roommates. Love them. Chelsea braided my hair, which was interesting. I don't look good with braided hair. Ha.

I also hung out with Richard on Saturday. It just got to the point that I couldn't fight with Heavenly Father anymore. I need to trust Him, and trust that He knows best. I was a little scared, but here is the surprise of the century: it only took me a few minutes to go back to being really comfortable with him. Since the moment I met Richard I never felt like I had to be anyone except who I am. There was just this automatic friendship there. It still surprised me that it was so easy to be friends with him. But it's good. I like it. But there is emphasis on the FRIENDS part. I hope he gets that. He said that he just got out of control when he said that, that his thoughts were getting the better of him, and he's trying to control it. I believe him because... Well I don't know really. It's this weird thing where I don't trust him very much but I trust God. Hard to explain.

We watched a movie at his place because he has a big T.V, and roommates that are home a lot. 500 Days of Summer. I LOVE that movie, and I happened to have it n DVD from Netflix, and he chose it. I had to laugh, because of the movie and how it kinda (not really, but kinda) reflects our own weird relationship. There was a moment near the end that I thought he was going to cry. It was cute. He wanted the guy to get the girl even though they say from the beginning that it's not a love story. But then I had to look away. I do NOT think he is cute. NOT. The opposite actually.... Ugh.

This. Is a Pen.

I'm tired of talking about Richard. The clearness of it all just confuses me. So I'm done with that now.

Have you ever gotten the feeling that suddenly you are no longer wanted in a group of people anymore? Well, this has happened, and they happen to be who I thought were some of my best friends. But you know what, I'm done. Normally I would be sad and such, but I always felt like I wasn't, I don't know, Hispanic enough. Cultured enough to be in their little group. I don't hate white people, I don't hate ANY people!!! If that means they don't like me then they can keep not liking me. I really don't care. I have other friends. Seriously. Ugh.

Anyway, I'm not all whiny, but I do have one more thing to whine about. hahaha My hard drive completely crashed on Sunday. I have a whole new one that Dell is sending me. I was on the phone with Dell for 6 hours on Sunday and for another hour on Monday morning. They tried to fix it, but his virus was just too fast. It crashed my whole hard drive in about 4 hours. Suck? Yeah. And before they could even look at it I had to buy a year of Software warranty. 200 dollars. Yeah. And then they couldn't even fix it. So they sent out a whole new dive, free because I had a Hardware warranty already, believe it or not. So today I payed even more money to buy an external hard drive so that this never happens again. Well, if it does I won't lose everything at least. Like now for instance, all my music is probably gone......... ALL of it. I can't fit a third of that music on my ipod, so my whole collection is gone. My friend Matthew said that he knows how to get it off, so today or tomorrow he's going to look at it and see what he can recover. I just want my music. I payed for all of it. I never download music illegally. EVER! So why did this happen?? Everything was fine when I went to church. I shut my laptop like I always do when I know I won't be using it for a while. Then my burn that I got that morning started hurting pretty bad so I went to get some ice real quick after sacrament meeting. I tuned on my laptop to listen to the song that I had just performed, alone, without much warning, in front of everyone, so that I could compare myself and what have you, and my laptop was being really slow then it was skipping, then it would stop working altogether for a minute, and then start again. I checked my other programs, all the same. So I called Dell. I know nothing about computers, I was NOT about to try and fix it myself. The rest you know.

So I know that was a lot of negative stuffz, but I decided something today. I love my life. All of it. I have lots of good friends who like me for who I am, I like that me and Richard can be friends as odd as that sounds, I love my family, and I have an amazing life that I wouldn't trade for anything. You couldn't pay me a million bucks to be someone else. So I guess even though there are holidays in fate land called Screw Heaven Day, and there are people who don't like me for whatever reasons they have (and they can go jump off of a cliff by the way) I don't care. I love it all anyway. I have an amazing life. =D

RANDOM QUOTES!!!!!

Any fine morning, a power saw can fell a tree that took a thousand years to grow. 

Edwin Teale

 

To believe with certainty we must begin by doubting.

King Stanislas I of Poland

 

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it. 

Bernard Bailey

Good Day Today. Everything Works Out. =]

Song of the blog: I'm Shakin'_ Rooney

So my good mood is back. Maybe yesterday was just a weird day. Hm? Possibly.

I'll start with yesterday evening. I was walking to my humanities class, talking on the phone with my mom, saying something about cereal, and then there is Richard. He smiles and waves. I nod like, "I'm on the phone." I keep walking. I was kind of in shock because I wasn't expecting it and it was the first I had seen him since the class before the bad text conversation where my confidence left me for a few days. So slightly shocking, but I handled it well I hope. I stuttered a little to my mom when I saw him, but he didn't notice I don't think. I can only hope. Also, I then got the feeling that I should stay friends with him. Then I'm like, "What?!?! No Way!!" And then it's like, "Yes way. He still thinks you're friends. You never got the message across. You suck at texting." "So! Just because he THINKS we're still friends does NOT mean we are still friends!" "But you should." "Why?!?!?!" "Because I said so." "What?!?! That makes no sense." "A lot of things don't make sense yet, but they will." "Ugh."

Nice conversation huh? I'm not schizo, just having a little argument with the spirit. It happens. And the spirit always wins. I know that Heavenly Father would never lead me wrong and all, but this is the weirdest prompting I have EVER had. Ever. In the history of my life of promptings, which is only 4 years, but still. It's really weird, and I don't like it. I'm not afraid anymore though, he can't hurt me anymore. That's one thing I am absolutely sure of. I can trust Heavenly Father when He tells me that. I should trust Him all the time. So I should trust Him on this too. But it's hard. It's like burning my hand on a stove and then my Dad telling me to put my hand back and he promises it won't burn me again. Weird right? Yeah. So I don't know what to make of it yet. Time will tell.

In other news. I wrote a 5 page paper. Me. For my Writing 150 class. 5 pages. It wasn't perfect, I had paper conference today and there is a lot more work to go into it, but I WROTE it. I didn't do a few drafts, cry, and give up. I wrote a full draft that I could be proud of, and I turned it in. I'm still proud of myself for it. Even after meeting with my professor and finding out that 50% of it isn't quite right, I still accomplished something. It's wonderful!! And I am going to get together with her next week to go over it some more and put more work into it, and it feels good to know that I am working and getting better, and I'm not perfect and that's ok. Who would have thought that not being perfect could feel so good? Me of all people, I've always said that perfection is unnatural and it would be a scary thing to behold unless it's Christ or God, I should know that not being perfect is ok. But it's taken me this long to figure out that it's ok that I am not perfect. Well it is. Ha! XD

So when I sit at the front desk reception area here at work my feet don't touch the ground because if I don't put my seat all the way up then people can't see me when I come in. Cuz I am short. So I swing my feet and I feel like a happy little kid, I should have a lollipop. I should. I don't know what this picture is about, but he looks cool.



In other news, I don't know what other news there is. I guess I'll give a shout out to Jordan my buddy who is my new stalker and he may or may not be reading this. "Hey Jordan! We talk at work, but this is cool. =p" Hahaha I am a dork. But it's ok.

Swiny swingy



Random Quotes!!!!!!

He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.

Unknown

 

The Internet is like alcohol in some sense. It accentuates what you would do anyway. If you want to be a loner, you can be more alone. If you want to connect, it makes it easier to connect.

Esther Dyson, Interview in Time Magazine, October 2005

 

A woman's whole life is a history of the affections. 

Washington Irving (1783 - 1859)

I think I'm Bipolar? Maybe? Hmmm....

Song of the blog: Mother Madam_Not sure.

I might be bipolar, it seems plausible. My mood the last few days has been wonderful, such happiness! But today it's gone. All gone. I don't know what mood I'm in really. I kinda just want to go home and curl up and go to sleep. That sounds like the epitome of happiness right now. My hands are dry, I need some lotion.

You know what though? I Am Alive!That is a good thing. I like being alive. Yeah.

I am playing with a BYU Independent Study stress ball thing, it's shaped like the world and all the continents are different colors and shaped all weird. I can barely tell which is which really. Ball. Blurb.

I am now playing with white out. haha I wrote on the sticky note "I am going to white this out." And then I did. The message is gone forever. Foreva!

I'm bored, so I keep typing. blah.

I feel like watching Juno. I think that has become my favorite movie. I watch it alll the time. It never gets old. I'm on my way to being able to quote every word. Very soon. Very soon I shall rule the world. (Not really, the whole very soon thing just seemed to flow into super-villain.) Mwahahahaha!

Rarrrrrr..........?

So this weekend my friend Karee from my ward is having a sleepover thingy. I am invited. I'm glad. I don't really want to sit there on a Friday night and think, "Wow. It's Friday. Niiiiice......." So I'll go. It will be fun. =]

Smilez........ Maybe. I don't know!!!!



My coworker friend Jordan just received and email from one of our students. He is on email team. This is legit.

Subject: Science Fiction seems like an interesting subject, but will it include zombies?


The undead continue to draw my attention in video games lately, so I've got inspiration rattling around.

Wow. Just.... Wow.

Jordan is not saying what I would say. I would actually look at the course and say, "It doesn't include zombies, but there are lots of aliens. ^.^" Or something like that. Silly me. This is why I am not on email team perhaps. blurb.

So this blog has no point to it. I'm going to end it now. ^.^


Random Quotes!!!!!!!

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. 

Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)

 

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. 

Seneca (5 BC - 65 AD)

 

Everyone's a hero in their own way, in their own not that heroic way. 

Joss Whedon, Zack Whedon, Maurissa Tancharoen, and Jed Whedon, Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, 2008

The Sun and the Relationship It Has With My Mood.

Song of the blog: Firework_ Glee Cast Version

Again. Because this song makes me immensely happy. =D

Today has been a very good day so far. It's Wednesday, so I can't escape thinking about Richard, but mostly just about ignoring him. I hope I can have the strength to ignore him. I have study group right after class so I'm not even walking home, which would be awkward because we walk the same way. I can go from class, get something to eat really quick, maybe a chocolate mood from Jamba Juice, and then to the library. All things Richard cannot do because he has work right after class. Ha. I'm safe. Blurb.

I feel so great today. I keep smiling randomly, and the sun is shining and it just feeds my happiness. I never want the sun to leave. I never want the clouds to come back and make it snow again. I just want the sun forever. It's warm and every time it shines on me my happy meter goes crazy. XD It's an amazing thing. Truly. I am once again looking forward to summer with all my might. April 30th!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait!!!!!!! I fly out of here and I get to see all my beloveds!!!! And NO SCHOOL!!!!! NO HOMEWORK!!!!! YES!!!!! It's making me giddy just thinking about it. Loveliness. ;D

I'm also starving. I forgot my wallet at home again. ugh. I want some pizza. Pizzaaaaaaaa...........

Not even reading about riots in Egypt is keeping me from the thought of pizza being eaten by me. I want some pizza!

If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.

Eddie Izzard, Dress To Kill

 

Facts are stupid things. 

Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004)

 

We need men who can dream of things that never were. 

John F. Kennedy (1917 - 1963), speech in Dublin, Ireland, June 28, 1963

 

I think it's funny that I got two presidents without even trying. haha ;D

Bouncing Back. Like That Super Bouncy Ball Me and Colby Used To Play With. XD

Song of the blog: Firework_ Glee Version (Rachel)

I know that Katy Perry actually sings this song, but I like Rachel singing it more. I like her voice more. And when I listen to her sing it it's more triumphical. New word. haha It makes me walk tall and smile for no real reason other than the fact that I am alive and it's great. It feels so good to be on top of things. Like this 5 page paper for Writing that should have me on my knees begging for mercy, I feel like I have it, and it will be easy, and I might just have 7 pages instead of 6. The limit is 10 I think. =] So life is pretty good.

Yesterday wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I didn't think about Pre-Sunday very much, and I even had an Anti-Valentine. =] My good friend Matthew Viglione came over and we made cookies and procrastinated homework. It was great. I couldn't help but think, "Why did I think Richard was the first person I've ever met who could understand my family life. I have this great friend right here who I can talk to about ANYTHING!" Why did I think it needed to be a romantic connection to count? Matthew is like my big brother. When I was angry at Richard he was one of the first people I wanted to hang out with because he is so good at making me feel better. He is one of the greatest people I have ever met, and I get to have him as my friend. I feel like the luckiest girl ever! And it's not romantic at all! I know that I can tell Matthew anything and he won't judge me, and he will tell me straight. I know if I'm wrong he would tell me, I know if I'm right he will tell me. It's like I have Colby back, but in guy form. Yay life.

And I don't know what else to write. haha Today is Tuesday, and there is a 3 day weekend coming up. That will be good. Great actually.Lots of fun and sleep will be had. And homework. yeah. =]

Random Quotes!!!!!!

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. 

Albert Camus (1913 - 1960)

If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves. 

Maria Edgeworth, O Magazine, April 2004 

 

Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not. 

Vaclav Havel (1936 - )

Post-Weekend Away

Song of the blog: Breath(2am)_ Anna Nalick

I would just reply to all of your comments Nicole, but it would be too long.

I want you, and any other wonderful person who may have read my blogs in the last 5 days, to know that I am ok, or on the fast track at least.

I don't know if Fiona Apple is 'still around' in the sense that she is making more music, but I still love her, and I love singing her songs. They are fun. Kind of like Jewel's belting voice is fun to sing, Fiona's full voice is fun to sing.

I'm not wearing baggy clothes anymore. I did for about 3 days. I was terrified to take off my coat. But then I was at the airport and I had an interesting experience. All day on Friday I had the urge to call my bishop's wife Sister Davis. I didn't have her number, and the question I wanted to ask her seemed too weird. So I didn't. Then I was at the airport and I was drinking a coffee-less vanilla bean creme from Starbucks-highly suggest by the way because they are fabulous, I drink them by the venti-and I got the thought the thought again to call up Sister Davis. This time it was unmistakably the spirit. Not just my random thought, Heavenly Father wanted me to call her and ask her this question. Why her, I'm not sure, why that question, I have no idea, but He knows best. So I got her number from my RA Mikayla, and I sat in an airport bathroom stall, and called her. It was weird at first, I didn't understand why I was calling her, but then I realized that I NEEDED to know. I realized why her, I realized why that question. So I asked. She and the bishop are always getting teary-eyed when they talk about each other. Their anniversary is bigger than their birthdays. Well, I needed to know if that was real. Bishop Davis treats her like a princess, he does everything for her, and she treats him like a prince. They are the fairy tale mascots. They are the essence of fairy tale. I have never met anyone more in love, except maybe Sister and Brother Wheat back home in Parsons. It's like this constant honeymoon. They have grown kids, they have been together for double digit years.  I don't get it. I didn't say all that, but I asked her. She giggled a little and then got a little teary as she told me that yes it's true. And then without missing a beat she said, "I don't know what you're going through right now, but you hold out for that Heaven. You don't take less than someone who treats you like the princess that you are." And then I started crying. Yeah. I know. But I did. And when we got off the phone she made me promise to tell her when I got to my mom's safe and then I just cried for about 20 minutes. In an airport bathroom stall. Classy. But then this song came on. The song of the blog. I have had it on repeat ever since. I just fit, and this peace came over me, and I stopped crying (Honestly, why in the world was I crying in the first place?) and I cleaned my face, and I looked in the mirror, and then I took off my coat. That was kind of a big deal. Taking off my coat. It shouldn't have been, honestly none of this should have happened, but it did. So taking off my coat was a big deal. I left the bathroom with my head held high, instead of the weird skiddish woman I had been for the previous 2 days. I was still terrified, and I felt like I was jumping off a cliff that I needed to jump off of. If that makes sense. I walked around a bit, and then I bought this cool bracelet that had a peace sign on it. It's colorful, and to me it said, "Confidence." That's all I wanted. So I bought it. I have only taken it off to shower. I also saw these necklace things. You get these circles with a word on them and you get the chain and it's a necklace. I saw believe, so I got it, and I also got the one that said forever. So my chain has two little circles on it. Believe, and Forever. I need to believe in forever. I need to believe that it's possible for me to have a forever. I have only taken off this necklace to shower. When I feel scared, I touch it, and I breathe, and I feel better. I was able to get on the plane and sleep and spend an awesome weekend with my family. I even did my hair on Saturday night to hang out with my sister. I had been strictly pony tails all Thrursday and Friday and most of Saturday. Normally I hate pony tails. So it felt good to have good hair again. Today I am wearing a pony tail, but that would be because I woke up late, and I didn't have time for anything else. I even got in the car when this nice guy from my ward offered me a ride. A few days ago I would have just kept walking and been late to class. I didn't say much in the car, but this is what we called progress.

Basically I had a good weekend. In a nutshell, I am feeling better. Pretty much, I am on my way to being my old self. This is a good thing.

As for Richard, I have ceased to care. He has become two different guys to me. Pre-Sunday Richard, and Post-Sunday Richard. Why Sunday? Well, Sunday was the day he was going to take advantage of me. He really liked that my roommates were not home. So Post-Sunday Richard is the jerk that I will never speak to again, and no longer exists in my life. Pre-Sunday Richard is the guy that I liked, the guy that had many good qualities that I am looking for in a guy, and so Pre-Sunday Richard is more of a list than a person. I wish I could say the list is short, it would make it a lot easier to only look at it as a list, but the list is long, and Pre-Sunday Richard was pretty much my perfect guy. All a front of course. That Richard does not really exist. As much I wish I could just say that I don't care, I have to admit that I am disappointed. It kinda feels like I found out Santa isn't real all over again. Not cool Post-Sunday Richard, not cool. =p But life goes on, and the guy that he really is isn't anywhere near the Pre-Sunday guy that I liked. Sadly. Ah the rambles of life. haha

So my mom and I came up with a game plan to help me get through class with him. I will just look really hot on Wednesdays and completely ignore his existence. This will be the easiest and most satisfying route. Easy because, well, I AM hot. And satisfying because, well, he can't have any of my hotness. Woot Woot.

I love being happy again. It feels good. =]

From Angry to Something Else

Song of the blog: The Child Is Gone_ Fiona Apple


So I was more angry than you could possibly imagine. I wanted to light Richard on fire. I was also mad at myself for ever liking him and for not seeing what his real intentions were. What he has done to me is inexcusable. But my anger is waning. I'm starting to slip into something that I hate even more than being so mad. I'm starting to hate looking in the mirror.

I'm not ugly. I have a nice body. I'm actually really pretty. I'm starting to hate that. I'm starting to wonder if that's just what every guy who has ever looked at me sees. Nice boobs and a nice butt. I hate that thought. It makes me cringe every time a guy smiles at me. I want to ask him why he's smiling, what in the world do I look like to him? I feel like I'm  just this body walking around and nothing else on me matters because no one knows or cares. I know that this isn't true, but I just hate this entire body right now. I want to walk around in the baggiest clothes I can. I want to wear loose T-shirts for the rest of my life. I want this body to go away. I hate it. I hate how constricting it is. I hate everything that comes with it. Maybe that's sacrilegious or something. I don't care right now. I want to throw away all my clothes that have any color so I don't draw attention to this body. I want to be invisible. I almost wore a skirt this morning, and then I walked outside and even though no one was looking at me I could feel stares everywhere. I ran back inside and changed into pants. I think I'm going crazy. I just don't know what else to do. I don't ever want another guy to even think about touching me. Ever. I'm tired of people looking at my chest. So tired of it. I've just finally reached my breaking point. I can't take people's eyes anymore.

Honestly, I hope this is just me being in shock, or me going temporarily insane. I don't want to be like this for rest of myself. I'm scared to look men in the eye. Even the guy sitting next to me in class or at work scares me. It's not even them really. It's the fact that I don't know what they're thinking that terrifies me. I don't know what they could be picturing, I don't know what they might be looking at. It's enough to drive me insane. I want all of these thoughts and fears to go away and leave me alone. But they won't. I thought if I wrote a blog about it then I would be distanced from it. I hoped that I could read it on the page and realize how stupid it is. I still hope this works, but I'm still terrified....

There was a blog yesterday.

Song of the blog: Nobody Has To Stay_ Mirah

There was a blog yesterday. Disregard it. It no longer exists. Starting to question a lot of things right now. All I really want is go home. Right now the closest thing to home is my Mom's so I will find a way to get there this weekend and I don't care if I have to hitchhike. I need my family right now. I really wish I could have my Dad. I really just want my Dad.

Oh. And I'm taking a break from dating. For a long time. Sorry Nicole, that whole not giving up on the fairy tale thing is not proving very effective. I'm not sure I can do this.

I'm so glad to be me. =]

This post was one that I made a LONG TIME AGO! I think it should be put up, because it is all true. =] Minus the 20 minutes thing at the bottom, although I DO have Current Events later today..... with Richard.

_____________________________________________________________________________
Let me just begin by saying that I am SO GLAD that I am ME and NO ONE ELSE!!!! I love my life, it's amazazING! I love everything about it. I mean, look at it, my life, it's pretty great!

1: I go BYU. Which is not only HARD to get into, but it's been my dream school since I heard about it's English department my sophomore year of high school, aprox.

2: I am freaking gorgeous. I'm no supermodel, but I mean really, that's just unrealistic. ME is BOOTIFULLL!!!! I have great hair, now that I'm taking care of it and not killing it. haha I have awesome fashion sense, I always make sure to look good, and I don't have that skin problem that I used to in high school. haha Buh bye skin problem. I am a pretty lucky gal. I may not be a size 4, but my size is pretty perfect for me. =D

3: I am finally getting the hang of college. I know that I keep saying this, but I am REALLY excited about this part! There came a time last semester that I wanted to give up and be a fry cook at the Krusty Krab because I didn't think I had any other abilities. WELL GUESS WHAT WORLD!!! I'M AWESOME!!! And I have an A+ so far in Biology and English 251. And like an A- in everything else. I haven't had grades this good since..... 3rd grade??? Yeah... WOO!!! =D

4: I have a job. I have a good, stable job. It brings me stress sometimes when the retards all decide to call in at once, but then I have days like I did today, where I just love every minute. I have a good job.

5: I have small feet. I like this.

6: I have amazing eyes.

7: I read Shakespeare for fun. Because it's FUN!!! Currently reading Love's Labour's Lost. By the way.

8: I never give up. I hate it when people give up. HATE IT. (It gets on my nerves worse than if someone entered my apartment and drank all of my orange juice. I would have to give them credit for not giving up when they realized we are one of the only locked apartments in the complex.)Why give up on your dreams? Where will that lead you? The Krusty Krab. That's where.

9: I have to end on 9 because my OCD does not like the leaving it off on 8 thing. Not. Hapinen. 

So yayeah, it be pretty terrific bein me at da moment. (Jamaican accent? Maybe?)

Anywayz, today was a great day. And I have Current Events class in 20 minutes. And then after that I have Study Group in the Library for English 251. That should be fun. (nervous)

Soooo...... Life?

Song of the blog: Any Man of Mine_ Shania Twaine

Soooo..... Life? I don't know what to make of it right now. haha I'm kind just coasting right now, even though I'm not coasting at all because I'm still doing stuff, but being sick makes me feel like I'm floating all the time. Thats why I hate it so much. Nothing feels real anymore. Everything seems like a movie. When I'm sick I live just as much in my head as in the real world. haha Not good. I hate being sick!!!! And I am counting down until Wednesday when I will be in Current Events and Richard will be there and it will be great. He wanted to come visit me yesterday while I was sick but I wouldn't let him. I mean, I was all gross and I didn't want him to see me like that. I was feeling better last night though, and I kind of slept, even though I woke up at 3:40 and a few other times. It was more sleep than I got all weekend. That would be another reason I hate being sick, I always get horrible insomnia. NyQuill helps that though. I even took it during the day yesterday to help me sleep. Some people might not like to take meds when they are sick, I am not one of them. Bring on the meds. Drug me up until I can't remember my own name, just don't let me feel that I am sick. I loath being sick.

And now I am at work and I am sitting here in the testing room and I want to sleep. I want to curl up with my blanket and my big pillow and take a nap. That sounds wonderful.

Even better sounding: Some hot chocolate. Then curling up with my blanket and pillow and taking  nap. =]

What I will probably do: Homework. Dishes. Fall asleep on the couch. None of that sounds good. Ugh. Oh and did I mention DayQuill? That will most likely be involved. It's already involved. We have had a very involved relationship the past 3 days.

Sooo... yeah... life?

From The Best Night To The Lamest to being sick.

Song of the blog: Summerbreeze_ Emilliana Torrini

When you're sick, time passes so slowly that 2 minutes feels like an eternity. Then you take some NyQuill and everything seems to float before you pass out and then even your dreams are floating and everything is floating and when you do wake up it's only for a second of delierious looking around wondering where you are. When you are sick and home alone because your roomates are gone you are glad for this, but at the same time you wish you were home so your Dad could take care of you and make you some awesome soup. When you are sick you still want to watch the superbowl but you don't seem to have the motivation to turn on the t.v. When you are sick you eyes water and your nose runs and your stomach but you never throw up because that would make it too easy to get the sick out of you and life wants to make this as hard as possible. When you are sick of course some of your friends from the ward have to stop by collecting fast offerings. When you are sick you put the most random music on, and when you find one that makes you feel the floatiest then you put it on repeat and it trances you to sleep. When you are sick you think to yourself, "This is because I had such an amazing friday. It must have thrown off the balance of the world or something and now the world is mad at me and it wants its balance back. So it gives the worst 2 sick days in the history of sick days. Of course. That must be it." When you are sick you realize that you have only one and a half rolls of toilet paper left and it's sunday so when those are gone you are screwed for nose blowing tools. Wonderful. When you are sick you call your mom rambling random stuff and then you think, "I should take a shower." So mom laughs and says ok, feel better. When you are sick you take that shower and then you don't have enough energy to do much else so you just fall asleep. When you are sick you go to make an egg and run out of energy so you just go back to sleep. When you are sick you do all of this sleeping on the couch because your bed is just too high up and you just don't want to go there. When you are sick you fall asleep while writing your blog and then you decide to just be done with it and take another nap. blurb

The Best Date I've Ever Been On, and a carousel. XD

Song of the blog: Under Control_ Parachute

I chose this song, because I love it, and it fits SO well for today!

So... I had a date last night. He was taking his time texting me so I guess I was automatically making new plans so that if he never texted me I wouldn't feel too rejected. There was no need. He picked me up at 7:15 and it was the best adventure I've ever been on. One of those dates you see in the movies. haha We went to Red Lobster, but the wait was 1 to 2 hours even for 2 people. It was insane. So we drove around and we ended up at this mall type thing. I'm not really sure that you could call it a mall, it was all kinds of amazing. Everything was it's own building, and there was this center area with trees that were all lit up in white and blue, and they had bonfires everywhere. We walked through it and we found this shop that said something like, "(Place the name here)'s Fun Shop! Where there's fun for Everyone!" We practically ran in there, well, I did. It was amazing. The most random fun little kid stuff you could possibly imagine. We played around for like 30 minutes and then we found the wall of candy. We debated getting everything, and finally settled on the foot long gummy snake. It was really hard to get out of the container, they were all wrapped around eachother. He tore it so that I could have the red part. What a gentlemen. =] AND THEN I SAW THE CAROUSEL! There it was, inside this resort thing, with a full arcade too. I was so excited and he was laughing at me. haha It was only a dollar for a person so we both went, I rode on the elephant, he rode on the gorilla. haha Then we looked to see if they had DDR, then decided we too hungry so lets go find real food. We walked around, saw several things, but then we ended up driving around town. haha We drove around for like 10 minutes laughing and talking and telling random stories of our lives. We ended up at Outback. The 30 minute wait was the lowest wait time we had encountered all night. haha While we waited he held my hand and we talked and laughed some more. The conversation never got awkward, and when there was a pause it wasn't bad, it was like a break to breath. haha He's amazing. At one point he thought he saw a guy he knew from his mission, but he wasn't sure enough to yell his name out or anything. During dinner I didn't even finish my food. hahaha I'm a slow eater anyway, but we were talking so much that my slowness was doubled I think. I have a to go box though. haha He on the other hand, That man can EAT! ANd yet he is in good shape. I hate him..... No I don't. hahaha Actually I think I'll eat my leftovers now. =] So after dinner he carried my box while I opened my door and he even put it on the table for me, which sounds normal, but the guys I've dated would not have done that. Richard witnessed enough of my clumsiness last night that I guess he wanted to make sure I didn't drop anything else. haha I gave the grand tour of the apartment and he made gasping noises like it was best thing he had ever seen. He really did love our posters though. He went through my entire little drawing calender and laughed at my stupid pictures. He loves my bottle collection. Then we just talked and laughed for like an hour. It was still only 10:30pm when he left though. And he didn't kiss me, even though there were a few times I knew he wanted to.

Basically, dream date. It was pure greatness. Best ever. It would be really hard for some guy to come along and beat that. hahaha! XD

And because everyone keeps asking me, his last name is Howard, I already made fun of him for it, and I don't know if he's facebook. Bahahahaha!

Normally I would try to put the pictures in some kind of order, but fot some reason blogger will not let me. Silly blogger.

It's Friday!

Song of the blog: She_ Parachute

So today is Friday. I love Fridays, especially when there is a pizza party at work. That's the best. =]

So it is also 1:15 and I have a test at 3 that I'm getting nervous for. Remember that humanities test I talked about yesterday? Yeah, that one. But yet I am calm, maybe I am on so much Cold Medicine. Tylenol AND Day Quill. I don't know if I am supposed to do that, but I took them about 2 or 3 hours apart so that seems ok. I'm going to take another Day Quill as soon as the back of the box will let me. I hate being sick. I would rather be sick and pretend that I'm not because I'm on so much cold medicine. I'm not a suffer through it kind of gal. haha I woke up this morning feeling like complete shiz. Sore throat, cough, you name it. I took Tylenol Cold right then and there. I was feeling better in 20 minutes. Then as soon as I got to work I bought some Day Quill and took that too. I'm not feeling at my best, but I can ignore it very easily. I'm really good at ignoring it actually. hahaha I'm not sick, just having a down day. This will blow over and I will be fine. No one can even tell. haha I love it.

As  for Red Lobster I have decided not to get my hopes up. It's expensive, and he said he was going to text me and tell me what time he's picking me up, and I haven't got that yet. haha It's whatever. if I don't go out with him then Studio 600 is having a free dance party tonight that some of my friends are going to. I'll go to that and still have a good time. =] Or I will study for my BOM test that I'm taking tomorrow afternoon. Lots of things to do.

This test is making me pretty nervous now. I know the stuff. So I'm fine. Right? Ugh.


BUT IT'S FRIDAY!! =D

Yesterday, and a Happy Heaven.

Song of the blog: You're So Last Summer_ Taking Back Sunday

So this song really did just come on my ipod. Ha. Hahaha. ;]

So if Justin ever really did have a chance, it's gone now. hahaha I didn't blog it, but we went on another date. It was fun, but he is just so FORMAL! The way he talks just urks me. There's just nothing there. I know that my initial attraction to him was because he is so smart, but come on, you can be intelligent and still talk like a human being. ugh. hahahahaha So goodbye Justin. I do not mourn your passing by. blurb.

The really weird thing is, the same day I decided this, Richard the guy from my Current Events class. Bahahaha! We watched Pursuit of Happiness last night in the JSB. Free. ;D And then he walked me home. hahaha He is so sweet. He kept asking me questions about my life, and he can even relate to almost everything. His family is just as messed up as mine is. If he wasn't from Tennessee I would say he's my twin. Hahaha He actually gets it. Everything I've always thought I would just go through by myself, he totally gets! He's a great friend. A friend that asked me to go to Red Lobster with him on Friday..... XD But still right now he's just a friend. I'm glad to have that. I don't have enough really good friends here. Can you ever have enough good friends? XD

I aslo have a Humanities test today. I'm a little nervouse, but not too much. It's art. I love art. I love feeling art. Thats what our test is on. Yay!

AND! This morning I was sitting in English class, almost the whole class was, waiting on our professor. Then someone gets an email from this professor saying that class is cancelled! Yay! I can go study! (Or write a blog and get on facebook and eat breakfast! Yay!) It's 10:11, I have to be at work at 11. There isn't even a piont in changing yet. Blurb.

So here is a shout out to Nicole and the kids!!! They will all enjoy this. =)
                   I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!! YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST DODD FAMILY ON THE PLANET!!!!!! I miss you lukie and cara and logan and jack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And Nicole and Mark too, but mostly your kids. You only have yourselves to blame for having such cute kids. XD

Yay life. ;]

Random Quotes!!!!

If you wish in this world to advance, your merits you're bound to enhance; You must stir it and stump it, and blow your own trumpet, or trust me, you haven't a chance.
W. S. Gilbert (1836 - 1911)

An affirmation is a strong, positive statement that something is already so.
Shakti Gawain

BEST NIGHT EVAR IN THE HISTORY OF EVAR!!!! HANDS DOWNS GREATEST OF ALL TIME!!!!!

Song of the blog: Every Parachute song I can find on playlist.com

So last night I went to a concert. Opening that concert was a new band out of New York called Migs. They were pretty good, but he was spitting his guitar picks into the crowd. Not cool.

AND THEN. THE BAND WE WERE WAITING FOR! PARACHUTE!!!!! They were amazing. And Will, the lead singer, threw me his guitar pic. Funny story. It feel out of my hand when I caught it and to the floor. There was a convergence of the crowd on MY pic. I grabbed my cell phone to light it up and when I saw it there was another chick about to get it. Um... No. I so got that pic. She gave me a stare of death, but it's still mine. ^.^ Then Will made eye contact with Killi and she was ready to die. Michelle was mad. haha Michelle is, I swear their biggest fan in existence. It's so fun. Then towards the end, he jumped into the crowd Right Next Me. He held my hand. It was amazing. And there was a chick next to me, the same chick that tried to get my pic I think..... Anyway, she latched onto him and started making out with his neck. Ew. And her boyfriend was just standing behind her like, "....................." It was gross. But he held my hand!!

Then the Plain White T's Came on, after about 20 minutes of standing there waiting for them. haha They were awesome. They like to talk to the audience, and it was a smallish crowd too so it was waay fun. They love Salt Lake too because they consider it the place they really got started. I guess Salt Lake City was the first place to play Hey There Delilah on the radio, and some guys that are usually there helped them out a lot. He played Radios In  Heaven, which I didn't know was by them, and I have always liked that song. Then all of a sudden they left, and we were like, "Is it over?" But then Tom appeared behind us! Tom is the lead singer. He had just his acoustic and he told us the thing about Salt Lake playing Hey There Delilah first and then he sang the song and asked us to all sing with him. It was cute, and there was a little middle schooler that appeared next to me that was reaching up high to film him as she sang every single word. She was way cute.

The Best Part came after the concert. Caitie had gone missing when Will jumped into the crowd, and then suddenly we couldn't find Courtney. Killi, Michelle, and I made a line and went through the crowd of about 2,000 people to the back where there was breathing room. I saw the place they were selling shirts and etc paraphernalia, so I went over there. I was just going to get a T-shirt, but then I had an idea. I bought 2 T-shirts and a CD. Then I went looking for Michelle. I couldn't find Michelle, but I DID find Will, the lead singer of Parachute. Of course he was in the middle of a crowd of girls, so I pushed my way through, told him my name was Michelle, spelled it out, and went to go find the real Michelle again. When I gave her the CD, she choked up. haha I didn't think she would CRY! hahaha! I gave her the T-shirt I got her too, and we both wore them today. We found everyone else talking to Alex, the Asian looking base player for Parachute. I saw Catitie and I was like, "Caitie! You're alive!" She had been missing for about an hour an half. She said that she had gone to the bathroom and just didn't want to push her way back to the front. Crazy Courtney had done the same thing, but she DID push her way back! hahaha! Alex was loving Killi's flower, and we found out he was actually Hawaiian! Who woulda tought! So we chatted with him for a while, then Courtney wanted to get a picture with Will , and then me and Michelle had the idea to have him sign our shoe! So off we went. By this time there only about 50 people left. The truly cool fans. haha We went up Will and shook his hand and I told him my real name. He thought it was so cool that I had done that, and he and Michelle became fast friends. It was brilliant. He signed my shoe and we took some pictures. Then we saw Tom from the Plain White T's, we chatted with him for a while and I had this really great moment when I said something and then realized he was looking away so I finished with, "And I don't think you just heard me but that's ok. haha" Then he turned around and looked at me and repeated what I said and thanked me for coming and such and then he signed my other shoe! My worth of my shoes tripled last night! Not that I will EVAR sell them!!! We took some pictures with him, and then we turned around to leave and there was Will again! We all joked around for a minute and once he grabbed Killi's camera and was like, "Candid!" And he took a picture of all us! That will be my profile picture. Amazingness. We continued to chat for a bit more and then as we left he said, "See you in May!" We were all so starstruck that we didn't remember that we would be gone in may to our separate homes. Honestly, if I hadn't already bought my ticket, I would my trip off a little while to see them again. XP

Then we went to Denny's. A perfect ending to a perfect night. XD


And This Is Will>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Soooo..... I don't care.

Song of the blog: You're So Gay_ Katie Perry

I'm in one of those moods where I really just don't care about anything. Nothing. I could get fired and I would like, "Whatever."

Ok, I would not be whatever, I would cry. That was a overstatement.

But really, I'm just like, "Who cares about anything? Not I."

Maybe this has to do with getting only 3 hours of sleep. And maybe it also has to do with my allergies choosing today to attack me. And maybe it has to do with the fact that I feel asleep in English 251, full on fell asleep, I was out, and I feel like the biggest idiot on earth. That's a SMALL class. A very small class. I felt really bad for our professor because she is so sweet.

I'm falling asleep again. And I just burped, and it was kinda loud. Normally I would be embarrassed. Whatever I'm so tired now that all of it seemed funny... You should my notes from that class. Brilliant.

I don't even want to finish writing this. But I will say this. I am going to a Parachute and Plain White Ts Concert tonight. That will be the beginning of a good day. Yay.