Song of the blog: Who Will Save Your Soul_Jewel
Once again, I'm at work, so really the song is just stuck in my head.
So I'm in a funk. A weird sort of funk that I can't seem to get out of.
I have gotten through 3/4 of this bottle of orange juice. Nothing. Not a smidge better. I'm simply drinking orange juice. It's delicious, but ineffective. This is not normal. So I am going to drink more.
Work is helping though. It's calming; it's familiar even though I haven't worked here long. I like how it's the same thing every day.
Maybe that’s why I'm in such a weird mood. I sit at the same table every day, eating a pizza bagel, cream cheese, and orange juice. It's my stable tradition. But today, someone was at my table. And then I tried to relax and eat my bagel, but I was still hurrying because I had to go and turn in a paper. And so I didn't even drink my orange juice. I haven't had any orange juice today until now at work. So my whole day was thrown off this morning.
My day shouldn't be that fragile, I know unhealthy right? But combine that with allergies and the fact that my whole body hurts, and that I didn't go to bed until midnight:something so I got no sleep. That makes for a bad day right? A day that I need things to go smoothly, no random lady that takes my table and throws off my equilibrium.
And now here is my roommate pissing me off. I love her. She is a great person and she's really fun. But you just don't text someone and say, Hey can you buy toilet paper, me and ____ bought the last two and we were just wondering if you could contribute! Thanks.
Excuse me?
I bought one, then she did, then ____ did, and so now it is my turn. Obviously. So I was planning on buying toilet paper today anyway. It's the little I can actually do because I AM POOR. My food plan happens to cover toilet paper though. I am already not having a good day. Don't treat me like I'm a lazy bum ok? It's just not cool.
I think I just need to just live on my own. I love my roommates, they are good friends, but it's just way too stressful constantly wondering what I did today to piss them off. I have enough stress. I am a fulltime student. I have a job. I have a scholarship to uphold. I am paying for all of this myself. My parents don't have money. My Dad couldn't even afford to get me a birthday present, so he left me a beat boxed voicemail of Happy Birthday on my phone. I loved it. Anyone who thinks I'm lazy can kiss my dust as I do the impossible and be the first person to go to college and graduate from a university in my family. I'm a little bit fuming right now. And the orange juice is not helping. Maybe I'm just on edge today. I don't like it when people think they are above me though. It seriously makes me mad. Not that she thinks that. It may have been just how she worded the text. She may not have meant it to sound condescending at all. And in that case I would be sorry for feeling angry. Because I do love my roommates. They are great girls.
I apologize for the ranting. I feel a little better. And I'm not really mad anymore. I can't be mad very long. It's too energy-sucking.
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