Song of the blog: I Never Told You_Colbie Caillat
Stake Conference like changed my life today I swear. .lol. I have been thinking the past few weeks like bitter old woman. Don't need a man. I got myself. I can take myself anywhere I want. I will never get married because it won't last anyway. And I was sticking to it. I was seriously set. I was never going to date again. The very thought of it made me sick. And then I went to stake conference. And the speaker was an apostle. And my world was turned upside down.
There has been one question my entire life that has never been answered until today. The one thing that has never made sense to me. The one thing that I have prayed about and the answer never hit home. "Can two people reallt love eachother and stay together their entire lives?" I've ever only known one answer. And that was no. Even with Jimi, and I would still walk through fire for him, even with him I just didn't know.
But this man. This man's wife died in 1995. Almost 16 years ago. And this man still tears up when he says how much he loves her. They never fought. 45 years together and they NEVER fought. That is absolutely UNHEARD of. It blew my mind that it was even possible. While this man spoke of his wife, and their life together. As he spoke of how they were married the Temple for all of eternity and then charished eachother, and how he knows that when the Lord takes him from this earth they will run to eachother and know that they will never again be apart. As this man spoke. It was all I could do not to start sobbing. Everything I thought I knew was turned upside down. Through the whole weekend Heavenly Father had been having people talking about love and how inmportant it is. But it wasn't until this man spoke that I gave in. I knew that the Lord didn't support my decision to just do this all alone. But I was stubborn. I didn't want to face the fact the fact that I won't be able to live this life alone. I was quiet on the way back home. I was still processing. I was in shock. My mind is still trying to make sense of it. But thats the thing. My heart knows. My mind just hasn't caught up yet.
This does NOT mean I'm going to go and marry the first guy I see. I'm just not giving up on love. How can anyone give up on love after hearing this man speak? He is the richest man in the world. By listening to him talk you would think that he OWNS the world. That is happiness. Thats TRUE happiness. I'm not giving up on that. Someday I will have that. I will be one half to a whole unit. It will just be right when it happens. And I will try not to fight it. Some people spend their whole lives looking for love, and I was about to spend my whole life running away from it. But God knows best. hahaha :)
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