Reaching Heaven: Don't Take This Wrong!!!!!

Song of the blog: Mouthwash_ Kate Nash

Today I was studying for my Humanities test, and I think it should be fairly easy. But while I was studying, I fell asleep. I had a dream that I was taking pictures of a little girl eating her first oreo. I woke up thinking, being a mom is going to rock.

Now since I know that someone is going to read this and think, "Uh oh." Fear not. This does not appear in my dreamscape for YEARS. Just because I don't want kids for a really long time, does not mean I never want them. Someday I will. And when that day comes, it will be fun. Right now is fun enough. haha

I think I will the kind of mom who constantly taking pictures of her kids. I mean, at a constant rate. I will need to invest in a good camera. I don't like scrapbooking very much, but in my dream I had a website dedicated to family memories. I know because I took a picture of the cookie and Lorilie apart first, so I could photoshop them into like a "v.s" thing. It all seems very silly to me now that I am awake, but in my dream I thought it was way cool. hahaha I think I will be all about recording their first experiences. Every one. First time sitting in grass. First time seeing an animal. First time on a swing set. First day of school, every year until they graduate. First time bowling. First time seeing the stars. I'll film that one. I am realizing lately how much I miss the stars. There aren't really any here. Stars are a wonderful part of life.

I think I will be crazy. I will have so much fun playing with my kids that when they are being loud and playing around the house you will not see me telling them to be quiet. Chances are I started it. hahahaha

I hope that when my kids are older, they will always come and talk to me. I want that perfect balance between friend and mom. Thats REALLY hard. But thats what I want to be. I want them to know the rules and the consequences, but also that I will love them no matter what, and if they get into trouble they can come to me for someone who will be straight with them. When they are older, I want to be their best friend as well as their mom.

I am also scared to death. I have always wondered, "What if I mess them up?" I look at my own parents and scared becomes terrified. But here is where I hope I don't make Nicole cry. When I think of the best mom I know, I think of Nicole. She is going to be all things for her kids. I see her boys and I know that they will grow up to be strong men who respect women because they respect their mother. I think of the Stripling Warriors and that if there was ever an encyclopedia picture of what they looked like as little tykes, Nicole's boys would be there. I look at little Cara and I think, "Man that girls insane! Perfect. ;D" She will never let anyone walk on her. She will be strong, and she won't settle for less than what she deserves. She won't get out their on her own and freeze like I did. She will know exactly what to do, when to do it, and how. She will probably be top of her class at every subject, including recess. haha I hope I'm not embaressing Nicole. Just had to write it. ;] I will never forget seeing Nicole play with her kids, I'll probably think of it every time I play with mine. haha I've never had a woman that I could really look to for an example of how to be, but over the years Nicole became that woman. Sorry. haha Great, I made myself cry. Bleh. Moving on.