Song of the blog: Nothing at the moment. My head is unusually quiet.
I am taking calls, eating fresh fruit, and feeling a little funky. I keep going back and forth between feeling on top of the world and hating the world. For instance, when I wrote that last blog, I was feeling pretty great, and then a couple hours later my laptop and my ipod died both in the same 5 minutes, and then life sucked. And then I get to work and on my way I buy food and I change and then some tall really skinny girl comes in that looks like she would look good anything. This is completely unrealistic because I barely looked at her, but I was still in a bad mood from my music dying on me, and so I didn't feel bad for being angry at her until I sat down and logged into all of my work stuff and started eating my fruit. I haven't eaten or drank anything all day, and so just one bite of fruit and I was on top of the world again. (And like I said, I felt bad for disliking the girl I didn't know. ) It was good too. And I have water. And I am going to go and heat up my soup after I eat my chips. I'M STARVING.
So I don't really have anything to say about Anthropology except that if you even need an entry level anthropology course for your major, don't take Crandall at BYU. Do it through anything else. Independent Study the dang thing or something. DON'T TAKE CRANDALL IF YOU NEED AN INTRO COURSE. Not for freshman who are not used to a college work load. So yeah. "And thats all I have to say about that."
Livin' on a prayer is now stuck in my head. Guess thats the song of the blog?
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I never published that, and now it is 1:30 am and I just took a shower. Going to set my alarm and go to sleep finally. I didn't do ANY homework! That was the WHOLE REASON I stayed up so late! Nope, I had to finish this book in one day just like the last one. I really think that books are a drug that will never be illegal because the only they kill is grades. This one was called Cross My Heart. A mormon girl played the star role. It was good, and interesting, read like a jounal, so it was nice. The only thing wrong with it is that every 5 seconds it reminded me of Felix. Which isn't good. Isn't interesting. Does read like a journal, but isn't nice. While they are good memories, they are not what I want to be thinking about all the time. Thats not the point of this 6 month break. And then he had to send me two conflicting messages in answer to my email about my need for a break, and that I'm not mad at him, just something I need to do.
Message 1: "I love you too. As friend.'
Short. Sweet. To the point. When I read it it surprisingly was exactly what I needed to hear, read, see..... Anyway, it strengthened my resolve. I walked tall the rest of the day. But then.....
Message 2: "And, if you still get my messages, it's not as easy for me as you think, I miss you too."
Wait a second!! What happened to the last one?? Why couldn't he just leave it at that. I wanted to say many things. Some sounded pathetic, like, "You do?" Some sounded ok, like, "All the more reason for us not to talk for a while." Still not good. And some were just stupid, such as, "Never mind. I'm silly. I don't have to do this. I love you too much." But thats the point. I love him too much, in too many conflicting ways. And so the 6 months. I finally get it. Now. Just now I understand. I need to figure out myself. I need to align my plans with Heavenly Father's where before they were a couple thousand feet apart in some areas. I know what God has told me to do and I need to concentrate on that. And keeping my scholorship. I need to do that too. I have too many things to do! And I'm hungry again! Ah! Someone make me something? "Oh? What? I'm the only one awake in an apartment full of adults who cook for themselves? Nuh uh." O.o
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