I like that there are strings in this song. I also love the lyrics. Especially because a moment is all we have.
I'm feeling very philosophical today. Deep stuff man, deep stuff. Really though, I've been thinking a lot.
Part of me wants to change names for this blog, but there is really no point since no one reads it anyway that won't know who I'm talking about. Why hide my thoughts really?
I don't like Jake as much as he likes me. I just don't. I kind of like him. But I can't really see us together. Our personalities are just too different, and we see the world completely differently. We have gone through a lot of the same things in our lives, but we took completely different things from them. I'm not saying that there is no chance. I'm going to hang out with him this weekend, but I have a feeling that he is planning our whole summer and naming our children already. I really can't see past this weekend, and I can Barely see this weekend. I'm giving him a chance, he's a really sweet guy, and he deserves that.
This. Is. A. Pop Tart.
Another thing that I've been thinking a lot lately. Felix. I know Nicole, every time I say his name you cringe and die a little inside, but he will never be gone from my life. Not completely. Someday we will marry other people and have a very different view of the world, but that day is not soon coming. I need Felix in my life. Life just isn't the same without him, it's not even really life. That is not going away, no matter how many times I tell myself that it is. The only thing I can do is not close myself off to every guy but Felix, and date around, with guys that are not Felix. I can like other people, that has been proven. I have come to the conclusion that the day I get married is the day I find someone I love more than I love Felix. That pretty much ensures that I will love him forever. Yipee...
This summer is not going to be a Felix summer. He won't even be there for most of it. 3 weeks at the most, right at the end of my time there. I really don't know how I will react to that. I am completely unpredictable when it comes to seeing him, and because there is more than 3 months between then and now it makes it even harder to guess. I don't even know what I WANT to happen. I know what is best for all of us, it's best for EVERYONE if we are just friends and we continue to be just friends for the rest of our lives. Thats what is BEST. I can't say though that that is what I definitely want..... Or how realistically possible it is.....
This. Is. A. Sweater.
I don't know what else to write about today.
Finals are here. I'm studying a lot and it's craziness. Jake is going to be bored with me tomorrow and I already warned him that I really need to study but we can go out to eat. I hate finals, but once they are done I will be so happy that it will not be able to be contained!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RANDOM QUOTES!!!!!!!
- It's a poor sort of memory that only works backward.
- Lewis Carroll (1832 - 1898)
- When a thing ceases to be a subject of controversy, it ceases to be a subject of interest.
- William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)
- When we seek for connection, we restore the world to wholeness. Our seemingly separate lives become meaningful as we discover how truly necessary we are to each other.
- Margaret Wheatley
- To be one's self, and unafraid whether right or wrong, is more admirable than the easy cowardice of surrender to conformity.
- Irving Wallace
- Other song of the blog: If You Can Afford Me_ Katy Perry
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